Fix Your Eyes

Breathe in. Breathe out. Sometimes it's all you can do. Life is heavy and pretty cruel sometimes.

But my God is good. My God is faithful. He is full of love and mercy and forgiveness. I am so glad that His love is not contingent upon my obedience and faithfulness, because I am just so frail and weak. Over and over I fail and I fall short (Rom. 6:23). I mess up. I blame myself for failure. Feelings of guilt and shame torment my heart. I wallow in my sin feeling hopelessly trapped.

Why? I know that the Lord is good. I know he has washed me clean. I know that he is working in my life to sanctify me and make me like himself. So why do I keep feeling guilty? Answer: I'm focused on myself. I mess up, look inward, and think, "Wow! Again? Come on, dude. Haven't you learned?" That's the problem. When we fail, we can't dwell on ourselves. That's only going to push us further behind. When we fail, the first place we should look is the cross. Dwell on Christ. Surrender. Rest in his love. Take one look at your sin and ten looks at the cross. That's where you'll find peace and rest (John 14:27).

Don't beat yourself up when you fall into sin again. We're human. However, we can't become comfortable in our sin either. Walk in love, rest in Christ (Eph. 5:2, Matt. 11:28-30). If you are one of his children, he is daily restoring your soul. Take comfort in that. Dwell on that.

A few awesome promises to meditate on:

1. He's got your future in his hands... and it's the best one for you. (Jeremiah 29:11)
2. He will never stop loving us, even when we fail. (Romans 8:37-39)
3. He will provide you with the strength to carry on. (Isaiah 40:29-31)
4. His grace is sufficient for our salvation. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
5. God is never-changing. You can count on anything he has ever promised. (Hebrews 6:17-18)
6. None of his promises will ever fail or fall short. (Joshua 23:14)

His Joy is Our Strength

It's kind of all over the place, but I wanted to write it down nonetheless.

I try to find happiness, but I never look in the right places, or when I do I'm blinded. I wait and wait for it to come around thinking, "When I get this paper done, I'll be happy." "When I finally get home for Thanksgiving, I'll be happy." "When this semester is over, I'll be able to breathe and restart." I put my identity in my hobbies or talents thinking, "I'll be happy if I master this." I've discovered a few things lately and I'd like to share.

I believe that my first fault lies in this waiting game. It's our responsibility to take control of a situation and be advocates of our own happiness. I think we too often find situations to be overwhelming or less-than-ideal and we decide that any effort to salvage any happiness from them would be futile. False. There is always something to be grateful for. There is always joy to be found, which brings me to my next point:

Jesus is the author of joy. Nehemiah tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength. What He has done (and continually does) for us is enough to make my heart sing. He has given me life; He has offered the same to everyone willing to give their all. I think of the things I've so mindlessly given my time and efforts to over the years trying to find happiness. I realize that none of these things could ever come close to what Christ offers. He is joy, He is life, He is love, purpose, hope.  We fill ourselves with the things we think will make us happy only to find that we are still utterly and painfully empty.

He wants to bless us. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. He smiles when we smile, and he laughs when we laugh. He has created us so that we know true joy when we know Him. I believe John Piper got it right when he said,

"The greatest news in all the world is that God's ultimate aim to be glorified and man's aim to be satisfied are not at odds."

We praise Him, He gives us ultimate joy and satisfaction. He carries and sustains us through the tough times and He walks with us in joy during the good times. Stop diverting your attention from the only true source of joy: the fountain of life which never runs dry. I'm trying to do the same.

From the Depths of Woe

I'm not a photographer. Big cameras scare me, and I know I would get distracted trying to get the perfect shot. But I do love seeing awesome photography and I am even lucky enough to have several friends, who are very talented photographers and who capture beautiful shots of the people and places I love. Have you ever seen those photos that look too real to actually be real? Like the sharpest lines and the most vivid and vibrant colors that you've never actually seen in real life.

I find that it is like that with God, often times. Try to bear with this poor attempt of portraying my thoughts. When He captures us, like truly captures us, we finally see this super real image. (In this case it actually is real, though.) We go though life seeing things that are beautiful, things that are sad. We see ourselves in sin and we think "Man. I stink at life." Our society views the cross as "Oh!-What a nice gesture! That was really a kind thing to do." Christians see grace as a free gift and we accept it, we abuse it, and we take it for granted. But we fail to realize the depth of these things and truly see how grave our sin is, how devastating to Jesus the cross was, and how truly marvelous His grace is. We need to see the depth of reality and not just the surface level we live in day-to-day.

You and I need to realize how depraved we are to realize how beautiful the cross is, and how vast God's love is to have done such a thing. We need the true nature of our sin and fallen condition to be impressed on our conscience. Romans 3:23 tells us that all have fallen short of the Glory of God. None of us are good enough. When we realize this, we discover that we have absolutely nothing to boast in accept how despicable we are. I used to have a problem with this terminology of self-loathing and hatred. But it isn't at all that we need to hate ourselves. In fact, humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. BUT, back on track, we need to realize that we cannot do anything apart from Christ, because we truly are that bad. We cannot handle this world without His provision. We cannot fully grasp and accept His provision until we admit that we are a much bigger mess than we think we are. Until we say "Hey, I'm in deep trouble and can't rescue myself," we will not truly grasp the help we do have in Jesus: His saving grace, the good news, the ever-sufficient plan of salvation.

Our salvation has nothing to do with us, but it is something Jesus has done. We need it.  We need it bad. We understand that when we realize how bad we are. And when we realize who Jesus is and what He has done, we can walk in Him with joy and gratitude. We walk in humility knowing it's all Him. Boast only in Christ, as He has done what we could not (2 Corinthians 10:17). He has lavished His great love on us (1 John 3:1) and we must be grateful.

Look at life and truly see the nature of yourself, because when you do, you can grasp the marvelous love of Jesus and what a beautiful thing that is.

The Gift vs. the gift... and LOVE!

You have to read the entire post to understand the title. HA! Fooled you into reading this whole thing, but also it's about love so you were probably going to read it anyway. Seriously? A dating post?! Yes, that's right. A dating post. "What are you thinking," you may be asking yourself. "What am I thinking," is what I also asked myself.  Well, I tell you, after an entire semester of sermons geared toward dating and, quite frankly just being alive, I've heard a lot about relationships. "You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy." "The right one will come along." "Maybe you have the gift of singleness." BLAH BLAH BLAH. Tonight I went to church for our college night. In light of the upcoming holiday, on which we are either doused in love or loneliness, we enjoyed hearing from a panel of experts (our pastor, his wife, and other couples on staff) about love and marriage. I thought to myself, "Self, I think you should go to this, because maybe they have some good insights you haven't heard before." I also, in pessimistic skepticism, thought "oh, just one more love talk. I needeth not attend this, as it will surely slap me in the face once more."  To avoid all suspense, it was not just another love talk. Well, technically it was, but it hit home above all others I've heard thus far. Maybe it just took the 174th time of hearing this stuff, but I think I finally get it. The only thing that could even possibly come CLOSE to satisfying me fully is a relationship with Jesus Christ. There is absolutely nothing on the planet, not any object, not one person, not a feeling, an opportunity, achievement, or earning that can give me that which only Christ Jesus can provide. It's been said many times before that there is a whole the size of Texas in each of our hearts. It just so happens to be God-shaped. Sometimes we are unaware that it's even there until it is so mercifully and graciously filled to the brim with the precious love of Jesus. (Fill Me Up-United Pursuit Band, LISTEN NOW) Once you are quenched by the Spirit, you can only recede in fulfillment from that point forward, because nothing else is going to touch it.  Pastor J.D. Greear said tonight that he regretfully always seems to be unsatisfied with the stage of life he is in, waiting for what he will receive in the next one. Singleness is a beautiful stage in life in which we are able to grow individually toward God, not having to worry about that guy or that girl, also trying to grow toward the Lord. Yes, there will be (if God has willed) a time where you will be growing side by side with another human being. But it is not the same. It's probably not quite as sweet. I mean Paul tells us that singleness* is a beautiful thing that is truly a gift form God. Jesus was single and look how much he was able to advance the Kingdom. (Okay, I know he was God and all, but if he was married he would have had to worry about making His wife feel pretty or something silly like that.)  All I'm saying, and I'm preaching to myself too, is to be content in where you are right now. Once you are in a relationship, married, whatever... you may never have the opportunity to serve the Lord in this capacity. Take advantage of this time and be content in where Jesus has you in life. One final point--Our greatest desire as humans is to know and be known. My thoughts on this are as follows: Jesus knows us completely. He loves us more than anyone else ever could. He thinks you are more beautiful than anyone else on Earth does (and he sees these awfully disgusting hearts of ours).  He does not see us defined by our sins, but rather as the beautiful creatures He gave us the potential to be. He thinks we are as beautiful now as the day we will be upon our completion. How, I do not know, but I've learned not to question the unconditional love of my savior and just accept it. So, those of you struggling with this upcoming "holiday" know that you are loved, you are beautiful, and just be content in living life now, right where you are.

*singleness: I am referring to the gift of singleness in this context as not The Gift of singleness, but rather the gift of singleness. See below:
     the gift of singleness: the state of temporarily being single; this stage of life in which you are single
     The Gift of singleness: forever without a lover, aside from Jesus the lover of my soul, that is

Lots and lots and lots of love (to get you through Tuesday),
Kaylee

Wisdom Teeth Removal: One Girl's Story

This week I got my wisdom teeth removed. We've all either heard the horror stories or survived them. This is mine... illustrated. Sorry about the awkward sizing and positioning of the illustrations. JUST BE GLAD THAT THEY ARE THERE, JEEZ.

Yes, A Post on Thanksgiving Giving Thanks

Naturally I would get around to writing a post on Thanksgiving. I've been busier than a bee the past couple of months and let me tell you, a lot goes into making honey so that is no joke. SN: I am obsessed with honey... thank you, 6th grade campers who put honey on everything for giving me this obsession. This is most certainly going to be one of those rambling posts where it's obvious I just want to tell people the things I've been thinking because I think I'm clever for thinking of the things I think of. If I were you I might not proceed unless you just need to waste some time. In that case, join me for an adventure through my thinking process, but brace yourself.  So I've noticed that 3 times out of 4 I incorrectly button my flannel shirt AND I AM NOT EXAGGERATING AT ALL. I just hate starting from the bottom, ya know? But ever since I was the only one in my 5th grade English class who knew that this one particular word was an adverb and not an adjective, I knew I was destined for greatness.  But I also recently realized that I'm one of those people who always quote Beyonce when giving directions referring to the East and West cardinals, which is so annoying.  Also, I pretend I'm still at camp everyday, so it's kind of a normal thing to see me wear my purple fish pants in public... not good. I'm so confused with my status in society, But on to important things: Today, which is Thanksgiving, is a day of giving thanks. Save the snide remarks. If you are having a hard time being thankful, I would like to give you a starting point by listing things that I personally praise God for: coffee breaks, friends who are never too busy to pray with me,  a stranger who smiles at me, shaven legs, umbrellas on a rainy day, talented guitarists, good pens, clouds on a hot day, America, camouflage sweatpants, green lights, hot chocolate, the uniqueness of every person’s laugh, finishing a paper, clean clothes, honey, clean sheets, hugs from tall people, fifth gear, colorful trees, crisp mountain air, and most of all, the love of Jesus. There is nothing greater, nor sweeter than this.  As the Jesus Storybook Bible puts it so simply and truthfully, it is "a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love."  (If you have not read this book, do it. PLEASE. Your life depends on it. Not really, but kinda...) It's such an unfathomable phenomenon, that we (or at least I) just cannot grasp its depth and breadth.  But I've realized one thing and nothing else matters; His love is all we need.  It truly is that simple.  I'm done, because who likes reading long blog posts? That's right, my mom and that nerd guy Michael who has nothing else to do in life. But  really no one else.

If you trust me, listen to these 5 songs:

Dusty Road - Michael Ketterer

Dance With Me Baby - Ben Rector

Set A Fire - Will Reagen and the United Pursuit Band

Goodbye L.A. - Green River Ordinance

Challengers - The New Pornographers

As always, I wish you Peace and Blessings,

Kaylee

experience J O Y on this day!

Have you ever had a bad day? Have you ever been in a slump? Yes, you have and if not, quit lying please. Well, I've had my share of bad days as well. Do you ever think it's a permanent condition, which you have no idea how to cure? That's happened to me too. Time and time again, however, I am reminded that the joy of Christ is not something that is dependent upon our circumstances in this world. Man, that is encouraging! Not that I've been in a huge slump these days (besides post-camp depression), but I had forgotten how magnificent His joy is! He never ceases to amaze me by reaching down at precisely the perfect time, every time. And like a flash of lightning at that: no warning, just BOOM! BE JOYFUL. I'm pretty sure my smile has reached uncharted territory on my face today. Why? Because it was rainy today? Because I'm behind in my readings? Because I have to write an essay in a completely foreign language today? Because there is a tornado outside? No. Just because. Seriously- just because. It's easy to be joyful when you are reminded of how great God is, how much He loves you, and what you had to do in order to receive His precious grace: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! AHHH! I cannot get over myself. I pray you all will experience this joy that surpasses all humanly understanding, no matter what you are experiencing.

Good News! Romans 4:1-5 What then shall we say was gained by Abraham, our forefather according to the flesh? For if Abraham was justified by works, he has something to boast about, but not before God. For what does the Scripture say? "Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness." Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due. And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness.

Therefore: Romans 8:1-2 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.

So... Ephesians 5:1-2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Peace and Blessings!

По-Русски?!

Да, я пишу по русски. Я не много знаю, но это я знаю... я очень люблю говорить по русски. Я также люблю курицу, но эта другая история. Мне нравится говорить по русски, почему? Потому что вы не понимаете что я сказаю!! ХАХАХА.

Тоже, я ЗНАЮ что вы просто googled это. Смешной, да?

добрий день!

Top Ten Most Important Things I Forgot About The Real World.

10. It is not socially acceptable to casually wear a princess backpack around.
9. Most wardrobes consist of more than flannel and boxers.
8. You can't refer to a small fish as a tweedle fish.
7. You don't stand on your chair and sing after eating.
6. I don't actually live with 20 of my best friends.
5. S'more pockets don't exist out there. (SAD FACE)
4. Drinking a glass of water is not the cure for every illness.
3. You don't have to chant everything. Example: If I were to spill my water all over the table, the only action required is to clean it up. It is unnecessary to inform the world what happened, by way of song.
2. Beds are soft.
1. There are boys out there.

And 19 years later, I've learned 19 things...

...okay, maybe a few more than 19, but some of the most important are, in no particular order, as follows:

1. Just don't worry about it. It'll work out, just because it always does.
2. Look for other options: they are there. Whether or not either of them will please you is a different story.
3. When it comes to life, resistance is futile. I mean, it's going to happen whether you like it or not, so make it good.
4. We are all selfish. Terribly, terribly selfish.
5. You need to come to a point where you can just be with yourself... If you don't even like hanging out with you, who else will?
6. Sometimes laughter is the only cure for things. Find funny friends.
7. Rules are to be considered guidelines.
8. Rarely is anything actually the way it appears.
9. Take responsibility for your own actions, as hard as that can be. Don't go blaming somebody else for your mistakes.
10. Happiness is often a choice.
11. It's easier to love people that you can be absolutely ridiculous and straight up silly with.
12. If you just sit down and do it, it'll be done. (Revolutionary, I know.)
13. Embrace stupidity. It's here to stay. ("Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” --Albert Einstein)
14. Fears hate exposure and they will cower when you share them with someone. (And it's nice to know someone's in it with you.)
15. Home really is where the heart is.
16. Sometimes not talking is the smartest move you can make. (I often fail miserably at this one.)
17. Life is full of surprises. Some are good, some are bad. But mostly they're just good.
18. Poptarts are bad for you. (I know. I'm sad too.)
19. Life moves quickly. Make sure you catch the ride.

So, here's to hoping I'll learn at least one more thing by next May.